Personally I fail to see why we tend to think of the two as mutually exclusive. I also think it's rather telling that our society operates under the assumption that this is a "women's issue" - which a different train of thought entirely that I will hold onto for some other time. But even though women are the ones biologically saddled with the entire burden of bearing children, men (or at least the ones who don't want to be awful husbands/fathers) face this apparent dichotomy too, albeit in very different ways.
However, there's a whole lot going on in that last bit I just wrote and I don't think I have that kind of time cuz I want to go ask more questions about potential graduate work. So here's my two cents on the whole idea of getting an education vs starting a family.
If someone is going to be a parent (stay-at-home or not), I think their own education should be monumentally important because their knowledge will impact how future generations are raised. Psychology/sociology helps understand human/social development; pedagogy is THE STUDY OF HOW TO TEACH and if you don't see how that connects then you're probably an infant gnawing on a smartphone; history gives one an awareness of the world in which the kids will grow up; the arts instill creativity and an ability to express oneself, etc. If you spend time spouse hunting that should be dedicated to learning you're doing a massive disservice to your future children. If it's important to you, I have absolutely no problem with someone spending most available free time doing so but not time that is set aside for self-improvement (and costing waaaaaay to much to justify being squandered).
I will admit that I am a little skeptical of people getting married in the first year or two of college (I know people for whom it has worked out wonderfully but part of me still screams "you don't even know who YOU are yet!"). But I'm not saying it's stupid to get married while getting an education or to start a family while getting an education. It was a different time but my parents started their family while my dad was going to college and working more than full-time. One of my earlier memories is him taking me outside and building a snowman/making snow angels with me - and looking back I'm sure he had homework he could have been doing instead. He graduated from Harvard with 3 kids and is an amazing, attentive father who happily helps with housework and gives mom time to herself when she needs/wants it. (Edit: a mom who also worked while having 3 kids, and has since worked whenever circumstances permit with total support from my dad.)
That was probably off-track. Insert shrug here. I guess my thinking is as follows: I want to be with someone smart, with whom I can have mentally, spiritually, and emotionally engaging conversation and who will EVENTUALLY allow me to take an equal responsibility in raising children to be socially conscious, thoroughly encouraged, unconditionally loved, and hopefully kind. If I get married while either my wife or myself is pursuing an education that'd be awesome but I would not want that relationship to happen at the expense of that education. Maybe that means not popping kids out as soon as possible; maybe that means spending some nights helping her study; and MAYBE that could even mean not living together until that degree is earned elsewhere. I don't know how it will look, and no two relationships will - or even should - look the same. But I'd like it to look smart.
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