Obligatory "get to know me" nonsense...

Totally stole these from the internet because if I left myself to my own devices I'd end up on about 19 million different trains of thought and never actually finish the original intent... Which I guess would probably say a decent bit about how my mind works. Spoiler alert: it's a constant stream of consciousness that usually consists of several lines of thought simultaneously, whether I want it at the time or not. 

That intro ended up being me just catching myself proving my point of how easily off track I get. Hooray. On to trying to answer incredibly blasé questions with my own personal flair!

Were you named after anyone? 

-Yep. That was easy.

When was the last time you cried? 

-Watching The Fault in Our Stars, and I would (will) do it again.
Have you ever cheated on anyone? 

-No, but that seems awfully random to ask this early on...
What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? 

-Magic Brownie or Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream
What is your favorite song? 

- I don't see how people can have just one favorite song... Walk Through Hell by Say Anything is phenomenal but not when I wanna write or if I'm irked. What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie is hauntingly gorgeous but bad make-out background music... Hypothetically...
When was the last time you did something for the first time? 

-About 47 seconds ago when I started answering these stupid questions and decided that I have to finish now that I've already begun.
What is the worst pick up line that you've heard? 

-Dunno if I've ever really heard someone use one in earnest, but in jest? Probably either "Can you feel my eyeballs lickin' you?" or "I'd take my tongue to your clitoris like a boxer to a speed bag." Don't ask questions to which you aren't prepared to hear the answer.
What is the first thing you notice about people? 

-The fact that they are alive probably.
What is craziest thing you've ever done?

-Crazy is subjective, so I could say rolling three crits in a single D&D session... Yup.
Who is person you miss the most?

-Currently a tie between my best friend/pseudo brother and a girl who shall remain unnamed.
If you could be an animal, which one would you like to be?

-Komodo Dragon, obviously.
Do you believe in the institution of marriage?

-I can't tell if you mean believing in its existence or in it as an ideal... Yes to both.
Who is your latest crush? What are you going to do about it?

-None of your business, imaginary person I just met! And probably kiss her on the face the next time I see her...
If you were stranded on an island, what would you do?

-Die, eventually.
What is your favorite food?

-So many good choices. Pizza, mac'n'cheese, sushi, dried mangoes, French toast...
Are you a morning or a night person?

-Night. No question.

Do you think God exists? What are your views on idol worship?

-These two questions together seems a little contrived... Yes I believe in God, and I think idol worship extends to people whose concept of God is one that doesn't require them to act any differently than they would on their own. So if an idol is just a non-speaking, ineffectual, deaf diety to whom prayers are directed once a week and then is forgotten, then many Christians would just be worshipping an idol who happens to share a name with Jesus Christ.
What are your views on gays and lesbians?

-Separation of church and state. Legally, there are no grounds to forbid them from marrying and I'm so sick of hearing politicians like Newt Gingrich use the phrase "protecting marriage" when they have cheated on their wives. Let churches marry whomever they will and the government marry everyone who wants to be married. Any religious ideology has just as much right to speak their mind about what they consider a sin or transgression as others do to say otherwise. 
Tell me about your first kiss.

-It happened. More kisses followed over the years.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

-My clothes in the morning, which is fortunately not only possible but plausible.
If you fall in love with your best friend's girlfriend, what would you do?

-The whole concept of falling in love has been so badly bastardized in contemporary culture. You can have affection for someone, like someone, lust after someone, etc but falling in love carries with it an implicit mutuality and growth over the course of shared experiences. I totally believe in the potential for attraction, interest, and connection to happen quickly/instantly but to fall in love takes work on both sides of the equation.
Are you a talker or a listener?

-I talk an awful lot should I be permitted to do so, but I try and restrain it and listen as well.
What is your favorite drink?

-Blue Gatorade mixed with Mountain Dew (aka bootleg Baja Blast)
When was the last time you got sloshed?

-Never, and I plan on continuing the trend of not obliterating my liver

What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

-Teleportation
What is the best advice you've received or given anyone?

-Wedding advice: A) if you're gonna fight, fight naked cuz it'll never last as long. B) remember that what this morning was a sin, tonight is a commandment :)
If you were a superhero, what would be your superpower?

-Teleportation
If you could have a room full of one thing, what would you want?

-Wish-granting genies
What would you want to be famous for?

-Setting in motion the series of events that would lead to the peaceful social revolution that will finally tear down the oppressive, oligarchical patriarchy.
If you were to be the President for a day, what would you do?

-Be hella stressed out...
Have you ever thought of serving the nation? In what ways?

-Yeah, but more in reference back to the whole "peaceful revolution" thing... I doubt I'd be much good in the military.
Are you a religious person or a spiritual person?

-Manufacturing a large distinction between the two seems rather pedantic, much like nondenominational churches are, in and of themselves, a denomination. Being religious and being spiritual are not mutually exclusive. In my experience, people tend to use the term spiritual most often to distance themselves from the connotation of organized religion. And organized religion as a concept is not bad... Some organized religions are bad but that doesn't mean the whole idea is bad. And this happens a lot more than just in religion. Stalin's socialism became communism and was bad, but that doesn't mean that socialism itself is inherently bad (Unless of course you are a white, heterosexual, cisgender, educated, property owning male who doesn't want to give up any of their insane amounts privilege in order to help the world as a whole become a less awful place, in which case - pardon my language - but you're a meany jerkface with poo for brains).

Would you look at that, I managed to end on a stream of consciousness rant anyways... Go me!

Questions from the audience (all one of you lol):

Spirit animal? 

-Michael Cera... Or something chill like a panda...

First thing I do when I wake up? 

-Look at my phone for messages & hit snooze if there aren't any.

If I could live anywhere right now where would it be?

-Under the current circumstances Logan, Utah would be pretty great. In more general terms? Seattle, England, or Charlotte

Favorite breakfast food?

-If I feel like preparing something, French toast. If I just want something quick, eggs over medium with toast.

Advice to give grandchildren someday?

-Give others the same benefit of the doubt you hope they'll give you.

That's all for now, here's a picture of Deception Pass from Whidbey Island, Washington. Just one more reason to go visit ;)